love looks good on you (:
by gerry

I am quite certain that
Nothing feels quite like
you do
and I'm almost positive
that your love
would look devillishly good
on me

pablo neuruda couldn't have
written it better
but you are all the stars
that envelope the galazy
and every lightness of heart
and uplifted spirit i feel
can only come from one
such as you
because your love
looks good on me

I don't need the declarations
of abiding love. Nor do i want
your silly little tokens
that cost the world
and yet never mean anything more than
trinkets under lock and key.
but if you would even so much
as glance my way
to quietly say
Baby, my love looks good on you
then my heart would
quiver
and shudder with the frivolous delight
of your love
and i would never be the same again

Just say it, sweetheart
because my ever-blushing cheeks
and heart palpitations speak
so much for themselves.
Say I am yours,
the one who bears the brunt
of that all-consming,
sweetly stealthy love
that crept up when
one least expected it-
the fall, the whirlwind
the unexpected tenderness
and the possibility of
a thousand kisses
because your love
just simply looks
that good
on me. (:

--

wrote this at work. :] ntuc pays well for me to waste time writing poetry :]

why does everything seem to reek of you. :[

gasping in melodies
by gerry


you make me gasp in melodies
when there are no words
to be said, and where
even that barest hint of
your smile
could burn itself
into everlasting memory.

please take care of this
heart
that i'm placing in
your hands.

and i wish you
would not wait
four days
to call
i want to take my
words back.
because i want you
to call me
all the time
even if we have
nothing to talk about.

why do things like this never happen to me? :]



oh, stop you! you're ruining my mood for writing good poetry. :[[[ 

FIC REC OF AMAZINGNESS! :D

okay this isn't exactly amazingness but but but it was captivating! strangely captivating! its one of those feel-good stories where you just need it to restore your belief in happy-ever-after. alright, so it may not be a Pulitzer Prize winner, or the most on-spot characterisation, and just maybe the insane, child-talk might make you roll your eyes multiple times throughout the story, but it'll grow on you, like it did on me.


www.fanfiction.net/s/3878384/1/A_Wonderful_Caricature_of_Intimacy

Quite lovely! :] i feel so happy after reading it :]

all is right in the dramione realm.

hello
by gerry

i just called to say
hello:
nothing more and
certainly
nothing less.
i called to remind you
of the staccato of my voice:
the thud thud thud
of heartbeat in my thorax
that has all along been
driven by you

hello, i am saying,
and its left a thread hanging
in the conversation.
your dead silence is
hauntingly beautiful,
and i want to reach through
this useless channel of
hello and touch something
in your drudgery.
i want to play water-colour
in your gray
and paint
a thousand pictures
to tell of my love
in this singular
hello.


you're not speaking;
and i know it might be my fault
that i've not asked a question
or talked about football
but i rather wish you could hear
the incessant longing of my soul
within this word: hello.

i wait.

the static feels almost
itchy and it chafes
against my ears.

hello, i say for the third time
and before i hang up,
i hear your voice
saying: goodbye
soft and swift
and almost murderous.
and i know
that it is
not to be
between
us.


--

melancholic musings. :[

why emo when life should be so happening for someone like me right now.

oh work. oh a level results. oh you.

yes, i see why i'm emo. :]

dang i didnt know this would become such an emo post.

ON ANOTHER LOVELY NOTE, DINNER WITH THE GIRLS TMR :D

i cannot wait! :]

lessons in ettiquette
by gerry


it is only customary that you
call your lover
four days
after
you've made love.

because it is by the fourth day
that you're the most
sane-
in control
of whatever
flagging, flustering, frustrating
emotions
that plague(d)
you.


it is not appropriate to call them
a hour after your
rendezvous:
your bed is still warm from
the ashen figure of their
absent bodies:
and he's probably
in the shower,
pensively trying to wash out
the residue
of your body.

it isn't a good idea to call
the very next day.
he might be at a lunch:
feasting on hearty artichoke hearts
and lentil soup;
perhaps feeding slices of fig
to the blonde secretary at his work place
that he's had his eye on
for longer than your affair with him
has gone on.
(it wouldn't be fair to call then, would it?)

i should tell you not to call
two days later. it is a most inauspicious time
because he might have already
forgotten your name and turned down
pictures of you that have been set up
in his apartment from the times you
slept over. he could've cleared out the pantry
that has been filled with all your
vegan crap and health supplements,
and stocked real-man junk food.
it doesn't help that
maybe, by the second day,
your jar of chanel no. two
has been knocked
unceremoniously to the floor
with his unconscious slip of the elbow
while he was shaving
on morning no. two.

the third day ought to be the charm:
but that would be a tad too cliche.
he might already have freed his schedule
for other lovers and blocked your
number on his cell phone
anyway, the third day is bound to be a sunday
(it always is)
and he attends church then.
and it would be unpleasant if that
god-awful ringtone of his
interrupted a sermon.

the fourth day would be good-
only because it's good ettiquette
to call and ask,
the typical, sedentary questions--

meh. will edit this later. :D


//edit:

i wanted to write about illicit affairs that end in those awful polite mornings, with people stuck wondering when they should call (if they should call?) and how it was and what it meant or was supposed to mean.


planning a sequel on this :D

all i have left of you
by gerry



the strangest of winds
have brought me to you
and at your doorstep
i have laid for hours,
to watch and wait for you
as you appear, disenchanted
on that threshold,
one arm reaching out as if to
warmly draw me into
you.

i would follow you
into you,
earnestly into where ever
you take me.
you are already done with
insignificant, trivial me
but i am not done with you.

i have cradled your memory in my heart
and padded my soul with lily-flowers and sage
and to thus insulate myself
from the harsh wintriness of
abandonment

i still carry your favourite sweater
and sleep in oversized mens' shirts
that smell of you
and i still harbour the
ghost of your heart
in my heart
because i love you
as certain dark things
are meant to be loved.


this last, insipid, vacant longing,
is all i have left of you.

these are not
by gerry


these are not stars, except
that they are.
they shine infintely brighter,
and light up everytime
i walk into a room.

these are not fire,
but they burn with
considerable passion,
and can send me a glance
that may send my
heart into overdrive.

these are not heavenly visions,
because they are real and
yet they are so divine,
so intricately conveyed in
such artistic craftsmanship
God himself would be proud..

these are not mumbling muses of love
that keep me awake at night
murmuring your name over and over
into twisted sheets and silken bedcovers.
these are not your ordinary
love-struck tales,
but they taste of you,
and are the exact same soury-sweet
that you are:
they are wildfire and honey
and trimmed with the overbearing weight
of my love for thee.


these are not
all of these things.

these are all of
what i see of you
tonight.



--

i need a muse. i need someone to write love-letters to. to write wistful, hopeful, bittersweet things to.

i need a muse.

i need a lover.

I was thinking through my whole 2009 and realised that it was one of the years where the writing bug hit me pretty hard.

Alright, no, let me edit that statement. It was a year where I started on a lot of ideas, but never fully developed them into something bigger, something phenomenal.

Instead, I wrote a lot of drabbles. A lot of half-written attempts at short stories that never fully materialised.

I should've considered 2009 a year of absolute writing failure. But it wasn't. I feel like I had more things to write, more uhh, vocab to explore- and while I'm always reusing words that I'm fond of, I try to find new ways of saying the same thing. Ugh. I don't know. But I liked the writer I became in 2009.

On the other hand, I'd like to think about my days when I was writing what, four fics consecutively? 2006 was when I really got hit hard by the writing bug. I'd write and write without care if the story was any good- it was an uncurable addiction. And then came 2007 when I sombered and clung to writing as a desperate attempt at escapism. Not a good year, but hey, it was the beginnings of better writing for me, I think. I wrote fics that I could say I was immensely proud of because there was actual frigging plot-lines, and words were set next to each other with a purpose, flavouring the narrative with a tangibly poetic quality. I'm still not up in the ranks of say, bkgal24, or myrika, or bunney or aggybird, but i've been trying!

I think why I can't write sometimes is because I don't read nearly enough. Oh sure I've got piles of romance novels sitting at the foot of my bed (literally) and they've all be perused through trillions of times, but exactly how many good literary novels have I actually read? Maybe five? Out of the thousands, and not counting those I was forced to read during A level Lit. The thing of it is, I like to read for enjoyment. Romance novels are infused with humor, UST (unresolved sexual tension) and romance, which deems them high in the "I LIKE THIS" section of my life. On the other hand, morose rantings on life, death and somber reality sort of crashes my hard drive, especially when I don't want to be feeling this down at such a young (relatively!) age.

Do you not see my moral dilemma? How to take English Literature when I so despise reading classical literature? Poetry, of course, is another matter altogether (don't get me started on the epic poems- faints!).
 
I want to think back to A level Lit, where thankfully, the books were tolerable, and I actually enjoyed all (yes, all!) of them. Disgrace was pretty amazing because of the way Coetzee played with words, tenses, and the fluidity of the prose made me want to smile because it was so delightfully easy to read. Not that he didn't make some things hard on the way, but it appeared a deceptively easy novel, to both read and love (somewhat). The Tempest was probably the only really trying one in the whole bunch because I was so annoyed by 'ye olde english', which I usually don't have a problem with, and some of the dialogue is kinda retarded. I can't imagine trying to read one of his historicals. and to subsequently die of utter boredom. The Handmaid's Tale and Brave New World- both of which I have newfound respect for because dystopian fiction is so hard to write and to plan it out, as intricately as both authors had, is commendable. Not to mention enjoyable to read. I loved the prose in HMT and the subtle horror you sort of feel when you go through it- it felt me stunned at moments when I least expected. BNW was charming, even the didactic parts. And need I say more about Earnest? IT WAS AMAZING :D

So, who's to say in NUS/NTU lit, I'm going to encounter the same exactly books which are utterly lovely to read? I'd say, maybe zero percent chance of that happening. It's people like Kim, people like Grace, who want to give me a run for my money. Kim reads frigging Anna Karenina for no apparent reason then, "Well, I just really like the translation" and Grace, who loves Russian Lit (omg, they should be friends), when the only Russian Lit I'd ever touched was Lolita, which was actually really, really readable and quite frankly, not boring at all.
 
Thinking about it, I want 2010 to be a year where I grow in my reading tastes. I'm sick of being so mind-lazy. My brain is sick of being so mind-lazy.

:D

( sky (UNEDITED) )

--


HUH. WHAT IS THIS. HAHAHAHAHA.     

 

  

my life is complete. i have just watched the smexiest gay kiss from The Picture of Dorian Grey on youtube. :D hahaha. i love ben barnes, and as disturbing as it was to watch that gay kiss go down, he's quite the sliver of man-candy, and ohmygosh i was squirming in my seat to hear him even so much as breathe. :D

though, i should like to add, he looks sort of uncomfortable with the kiss at first. but uhhh, it turns out okay. more than okay.

can't wait to watch dorian grey and be giggly-and-sappy-lovey when ben barnes gets on screen :D happpyyy. :}}}


edit:// i just realised that this LOVELY DELICIOUS movie has already been released in the frigging UK but not in SINGAPORE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. :((((((

edit again:// ZOMG I WATCHED THE FIRST EIGHT MINUTES OF DORIAN GREY AND ITS EFFFFFFFFFING LOVELYYYYY :} ben barnes! oh be still, my heart. :}

i'll make one disclaimer though, i believe the movie doesnt follow the book very well. the book remains utterly tight-lipped on dorian's supposed 'indiscretions' and 'vices', but the movie fully exposes them in a torrid whorl of sex, drinking, smoking, and did i mention sex? ben barnes, naked? YES PLEASE :D (i kid.)

16th minute of the film, there's a sex scene. :0 i am disturbed because ben barnes isnt in it. :/ 

okayyyy.... i haven't exactly finished watching it cos the streaming is bloody slow...... but its a cool movie. but i bet it'll be like M18 or R21 in singapore or they'll cut lots of awesome parts. :(

SAD.


ANYWAY, HAPPY NEW YEAR :D

while it's still fresh in my head, i absolutely MUST, must must write about the newest Lisa Kleypas book:

TEMPT ME AT TWILIGHT

why? because its AWESOME. :D

I bought this book following my very disappointing encounter with Seduce Me At Sunrise because I frigging saw it everywhere and I'd initially thought it was a book about Leo Hathaway, who is the brother of Amelia (from Mine Till Midnight) and Win (from Seduce Me At Sunrise). But it was about Poppy, who was more of a background character to me than a solid presence, like Leo, or like Beatrix with her awesome animals. I went into the book knowing nothing about Poppy Hathaway (was that even her friggin real name??) but hoping that even if the book turned out crappy (which, to my surprise, did not!), at least I'd have a glance at the LOVELY Leo Hathaway and his awesome love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with Cat Marks. :D Okay, anyway, I had a good fill of both a lovely surprise from Poppy's rather endearing, beautiful and charming story while also enjoying Leo's little misshaps with Miss Marks. :} How sexciting!


I won't really tell you much about the story because it's kinda complicated. Basically, Poppy loves Michael, and vice versa. The two can't marry cos his dad won't allow it. Poppy meets Harry Rutledge, who wants her. He manipulates it so that Poppy confirm can't marry Michael, which will later be a point of contention in their marriage. ): I love that there's no sex in it until much, much later :] because what Kleypas tends to do is start the narrative too early with sex, or near sex scenes, and it just basically ruins my appetite for the book (not that I don't like the sex scenes, I totally do! but it becomes grating when the narrative is just filled with it. unresolved sexual tension, on the other hand, is totally welcome in anywhich way :} ). Oh! But I do love the interactions between Poppy and Harry. I love how they don't fall in love magically, or pretend to be in love, and I love the sexual tension, the drama!, and the fact that they didn't sleep together until after they were married for what, two weeks? or one? The book is kinda sketchy on the whole timeline thing.  

Things I didn't like: Harry being kinda weird the first time they slept together. You'd totally know what I mean when you read it. It bothered me two chapters down and I couldn't concentrate. Cos I guess it sort of shattered my otherwise flawless impression of him. But I love that he's orderly, arrogant, tidy, very organised, business-minded, a sort of man who'd really take care of you because he's just so smart and prepared for everything. And I love Poppy. Because she's just Poppy. I just like her. :}

Overall, I'd say it was smart, funny, awesome, and it grew on me. The humor was definitely in full-swing, and the only complaint I'm giving Lisa Kleypas is WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL FRIGGING SUMMER OF 2010 TO READ LEO'S STORYYYY. WHY WHY WHYYY. -whines-. and somemore, she ended Tempt Me At Twilight on such a HORRIBLE CLIFFHANGER:

It is Leo saying to Miss Marks, "We need to talk about what happened."


END.



FML FML FML FML....

I remember reading that line and not believing that it actually happened. Like, I think I said, "WHAT????? WHAT????" A few times. 



I ISH SO SAD.


But there's a spoiler chapter from Leo's book, Married By Morning, which is quite WOAH :}


HEEHEEE I REALLY CANT WAIT. 


NOOO I DONT WANT TO WAIT :(


someone call Lisa Kleypas and FORCE her to GIVE ME the manuscript of Leo's story, which I am undoubtedly buying as soon as its released. :]

SIGHHH. only six more months til summer. :(
 

green-apple-lollipop-esque eyes.
by gerry


don't look at me like that
with your eyes, wide to the
point of hurting (both me and
you). it is like peering into
your very (hypothetical) soul
- if only you had one,
and feeling that same pinch;
a wretching, that logic cannot
serve to explain:

i will try, then.

it is the intrigue of you
that compells me to
want, to wish and hope for
something more- tangible.
if only you weren't such a
fleeting ideal, or a whimsy,
a passing fancy
or up on that pedestal;
if only those lovely green eyes
did not bother me,
or hurt me with their incessant pleading,
of yearing, longing,
their unspoken, inordinately conveyed
words, to ask me to
fall in love with you, senselessly,
inexorably, and to allow myself
to slip into your grasp
dove-like, demure, delicate
which i cannot, cannot do.

so stop looking at me like that,
whilst pursing your lips in
semblance of a kiss,
and the solitary strength of one arm
stretched outward toward me
and my very selfish self,
who only wishes and wants
to be rid,
of the glaring delight,
the winsome pain
and undesiredly desirable
sight
of those
green-apple-lollipop-esque eyes of yours.
 

--



am currently eating a RAFFLES HOTEL LOG CAKE. :D its delightful! :]


OH OH OH and i finally found Seduce Me At Sunrise and read it (didn't fall in love with it, but it was okay). and after five seconds of deliberation, i bought Tempt Me At Twilight (because the racey cover had a cute dude! :D)

will write a review of TMAT later when I finish it :} kleypas, please don't disappoint! :)

OH MY GOODNESS! HAHAHAHAHAHA. I was reading through some of the smut prompts for some fic challenge on this website for laughs when i came across one that was UBER ADORABLE:It said: blah blah blah... Pre-existing relationship not required. :D HAHAHA. sex without obligations. omggggggg so funnnyyyy i like laughed for a couple of moments. it took away the awful thought of stupid you, that's for sure. meh. -- ( crazy. i know. )( Read more... )

I JUST MADE THE MOST FABULOUS, WONDERFULLY SOUR-SWEET LEMON CUPCAKES EVERRRRR. :D they were sticky on top with the lovely lemon-syrup that I brushed over the tops and they were wonderfully soft, yellow and scrumptious! :D am in love! who needs chocolate when you have LEMON :D :))))) I found the recipe online and sized it down to make cupcakes (it made about 10). the recipe is under the cut:

( LEMON CUPCAKE RECIPE HERE! )

I halved the recipe and didn't make the frosting as the recipe suggested but I added about one and a half tbs of lemon juice to half a cup of confectioners' sugar and brushed that over the cupcakes (poke the tops with a skewer first) while they were still warm. ZOMGGG. best things on earth :) btw, i need to buy a microplaner cos i realise i dont have one and my grater cannot do the job of zesting lemons! (eventually i used a VEGETABLE PEELER- (FML) and then tried to slice the lemon peel into thinner slices but EPIC fail. still it tasted quite great :) ) ohoh! the recipe calls for zest of one big lemon, and since i didnt have a big lemon and i had halved the recipe, i used all the zest (peel!) of a small lemon, and there was more than enough juice from one lemon for half the recipe. but remember to measure up! :) oh my gosh, my blog has become a place where i only talk about food or love. :( i should re-name this blog. maybe i'll name it: ofloveandcupcakes.livejournal.com :D how adorable! i'll let you know if i change! :)

lemon-meringue pie
by gerry

i crave your lips like
i crave lemon meringue pie-
where the sweetly soft top:
a white cloud of airy-sugary confection
may lead me to desire
the winsome, sour tang of your love
concealed by the pure serenity of
swirled, beaten whites
which bleeds into the
yellow, pulpy-thick and
mischievious insides,
held together with
the crust of your every promise:
the whisper of words like puff-pastry,
too delicate to be spoke aloud:

i dip into this confection
with bated breath,
and come out
sweeter, refreshed, refined
and feeling more beautiful
than ever before.

--

GAWDDD ME SO HUNGRY. ME WANT LEMON MERINGUE PIE AND LEMON POUND CAKE AND LEMON CUSTARD
AND LEMONLEMONLEMON :D

ME SOOO HUNGRYYYYY. :/


I wanted to go down to eat a lemon cupcake but realised I'd have to make it myself and I'm kinda tired right about nowwww.


HUNGRY & I WANT CAKEEE. LEMON CAKE, TO BE PRECISE. :( sadddd.